Thursday, 27 June 2013

Show Love Don't Just Take It.

Here I go again, putting my head on the chopping block.  I don't care if I am being politically incorrect, I don't care if I am being sexist, and I care even less if every single person in the world does not agree with me.... Men you have an obligation to your wives and Ladies you have an obligation to your Husbands..... If you don't totally agree you should not be married.  Full stop.

We choose our life partners out of love and we must allow this same emotion to guide us on a daily basis.  It's your obligation to support, encourage and love your wife or husband, isn't that why we get married.  In this crazy dystopian world, love can create a Utopian haven for your family.  If I can't have Utopia on a world wide scale I am going to make damn sure that my family experience it within our home.  The only way I know how to do this is to give of myself, every single day, to the ones I love.  The amazing thing is that when I do this my cup always "overfloweth" and I become a better person towards everyone I deal with.  It's like the snow ball I referred to in a previous post, the more you live this life the bigger your resolve to continue becomes and the greater the intrinsic and extrinsic rewards.  I always get back twice the love I give, how can this be anything other than my Utopia here on earth.

I have to be totally honest, I have in the past been very remiss in this regard.  It was not that I didn't express my love, but rather that I didn't back my words up with actions.  Sure, I made a fuss over birthdays and anniversaries but I often let the little things slip my attention.  When I became a minimalist I very quickly began to appreciate the small things in life, in fact I realised that it is the small things that are actually the most important.  Obviously I had heard this before in the form of a cliche, but now I was able to see just how important it actually is.  As family and relationship focused minimalism became more of a life style and less of an ethereal concept I understood that showing love daily in as many ways as you can creatively think of is far more important than infrequent singular displays of affection.  As minimalism stripped the rubbish and distractions from my life, the importance of doing this came to light.
It was a win / win for me, I wanted to be closer and more connected to my beautiful wife and the simple process of "thinking up" new ways to show I love her meant she was at the forefront of my mind every single day.  In the end I became addicted to doing this and for me the rewards were worth more than anything I had ever done in my life.  I love my wife and I will do my best to let her know this every single day of my life.  Minimalism taught me it is the little things that matter the most, but living my convictions proved to me that words should always be backed by action. 
"Love without action is dead" - James Miller
Love without action only ticks half the boxes on your template to an awesome relationship, and action without love does the same.  Love and actions are synergistic and must go hand in hand.  You love with your heart and you cement this by the things you do, it's that simple!!
Below is an excerpt from an article that has some great ideas on spicing up your relationships.  You can see the entire article by clicking the link.  Please have a read, leave the author some comments, I found it very interesting reading and got some great ideas.

"Show your love through thoughtful actions. They can be simple things, like drawing a bath, giving a massage, doing the dishes, or writing a poem. Choose an action that you know your partner will appreciate. Remember, denying yourself never means doing things begrudgingly. If you show affection, but drag your feet along the way, you may as well not be doing it.

Breakfast In Bed.
  • Buy something for him/her when you know that they specifically want it. If he wants a Craftsman set of tools, or she wants a Fendi handbag, they might be upset at your well-meaning attempts to get them or make them something similar.
  • Make something for them when you're trying to show effort. It doesn't take much effort to buy your spouse what you know they want, but it sure takes effort thinking of a poem, writing it down, and setting it in a frame. This shows real commitment.
  • Numerous small gestures are easier than one big one. In case you thought you could wing it and make up for all your normal neglect, sorry: It's much easier to do small things for your spouse at regular intervals than it is busting out a grand gesture every blue moon. Practice small and steady."

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